“He domesticated wheat.”
— Noah Yuval Harari, Imaginary Friend
“Call me cray-cray but isn’t Mark Jodoin an anagram for Dino Jam Rok?”
— Mary Todd Lincoln, Whackadoodle First Lady
“____________________________________________ ”
— Silencio Blanco, Dubious Mime
“It’s as if he leapt from the pages of his Grade Nine yearbook. ”
— Mr. Peanut, Comestible
“Writes heart-pounding, blood-pumping, pulse-racing, edge-gripping packing slips. ”
— Todd from HR, Spurious Powder Room Attendant
“He’s a hack but he’s my hack.”
— Elaine McRea, Significant Other
“His presentations are why chairs are so stackable. ”
— Squeamish Farkingcrust, Barbarian at the Gate
“God threw spaghetti and the wall shook him off with a crossover dribble.”
— Whackford Squeers, Drifter
“Wrote ‘Warren Pees’ in less than a week.”
— Skunkley Dumbgrunt, Ferret Bagger
“Much like me, knows how to yuk it up.”
— Cormac McCarthy, No Mincer of Words
“To question his word is to unmoor thy delicate giblets.”
— Christopher Marlow, Congo Eel
“A stale baguette.”
— Pho Paah, Operations Manager, Hell
